Talking to Instructors about Asperger's Syndrome

If you’re my son’s gymnastics coach and you say he doesn’t get to participate in “free time” because he didn’t give you a high five when he entered, then, unfortunately, this will cause a lot of stress for him and he will tell me he’s never doing gymnastics again.  And he won’t.  At least not for now.  Maybe he’ll try again next year with another coach, we’ll see.

I want Travis to be able to explore all kinds of activities and I’m wondering if it would be helpful to write up a description of how his differences might impact his classes, something that might improve the chances of a positive outcome for him and the rest of the kids. This goes against what I feel I should be doing - I wish that others could listen and observe and see all of the positive things that I see and help him to be successful, but they can’t.

He’s usually only spending a short time each week in a class, so I want to present something that’s easy to read and doesn’t take too much of the instructor’s time. Just stating “he has Asperger's Syndrome” and trying to describe what that means for him hasn’t really worked.  AS looks different from person to person and it’s often hard for facilitators of a class to know the difference between something like silliness and misunderstanding a metaphor.

I found this wonderful page of “Tips for Teaching High-Functioning People with Autism” , which lists such good advice as, “Don’t take misbehavior personally” and “Avoid verbal overload.”  I think I’ll try offering a copy of these tips along with some of my evolving ideas that might help my son have a better experience.  

One idea is to try not to take it personally if he doesn’t greet you or look you in the eye when you’re speaking to him.

I want to say, he doesn’t try to misbehave, so if you ask him what he’s doing, you might find that he’s misunderstood something presented with metaphor or sarcasm. 

I want to suggest something that almost always works when he’s learning the ropes of a new activity, and that is to make sure he knows he’s welcome to take a break when he’s overwhelmed or frustrated.  

Most importantly, I want to say, you will see so many wonderful things about him and enjoy having him participate if you can tolerate a few differences and get to know him.

Many of the instructors we’ve encountered want to have the same rules for everyone and they often have a number of kids in one class. Catering to Travis is not something they have the time or patience to do, so my guess is that not everyone will appreciate these tips. I’m going to need to be proactive in finding activities and instructors that will lead to positive experiences for him.  I don't think this will be easy.